00_Knight posted a comment on Thursday 16th December 2010 12:14pm
Now that was depressing! Next time I'll listen to your advice at the top of the page!
good little ficlet!
Panaka posted a comment on Thursday 16th December 2010 11:57am
That was depressing.
kb0 posted a comment on Wednesday 15th December 2010 9:34pm
I've seen at least 1 other story along this plotline (but with Ginny), however what you have here is well done. It gives us a story without going on useless tangents, and yet explains everything we really need to know. It was a tragic ending, but a well written story. Thanks for sharing!
normalguycap posted a comment on Tuesday 14th December 2010 11:37pm
Interesting twist! I never expected her to deny him, but then she present a perfectly fine reason and I thought that was that. But ho! Turns out she's playing a game!
Nice repetition at the end of each little paragraph. Had a little issue when you said Ancient and Most Noble House of Dursley, because they weren't and it didn't apply, but I wasn't sure if it was sarcastic or something.
Personally, I think having Voldemort recoil from Harry's stentch because he hadn't bathed or ate for a week was too exagerated. I'm sure Voldemort has run into worse things, but I understand what experience you were trying to convey. You'll find my reviews are a lot of "praise by omission" in that whatever I don't talk about is good.
What I do like is when you insert little phrases or groups of words that describe so effectively in so small a space. "ever the showman..."
Dark, interesting, short and a bit refreshing. A good one-shot.